Eddie Murphy Takes Paternity Test
Eddie Murphy submitted his DNA today in Beverly Hills, CA to determine if he
is the father of Spice Girl Mel B's baby. Test results were unclear,
however, when experts discovered his sperm to all be wearing fat suits.
"It was one of the most peculiar things," stated Dr. Robert Robertson. "The
first sperm I saw in a fat suit, it was funny. I literally laughed till I
stopped. But, when I saw the next one, and the next one after that, each in
a fat suit, it really wasn't that funny anymore. It was really more of the
same thing. One sperm in a fat suit would've been enough."
When approached by reporters about the bizzare test results, Murphy elluded
questioning by changing into a loveable animated character that provided
comic relief and humor the entire family could enjoy, including the parents,
who wonder if this man is the same Eddie Murphy they saw in Another 48 Hours
and Raw, before they became trapped by parenthood.
"Me and my buddies, we used to watch Raw, and see, we made a drinking game
of it. Every time Eddie dropped an f-bomb, we'd take a drink,"laughed
life-long Murphy fan, Mike Houston. "Man, we'd get pretty tanked." His face
suddenly became stern. "Now, first he's a dragon, then he's a donkey, and
then a donkey...yeesh, I can't drink to that."
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