Ken Barnard Reporting 6-1-07

POP STAND NEWS
6-1-07
By Ken Barnard


Researchers find 2,100 year-old melon

TOKYO - Archaeologists digging in western Japan have excavated what they believe to be the oldest remains of a melon ever found.

Based on a radiocarbon analysis, researchers estimate the piece of fruit to be about 2,100 years old, said Shuji Yamazaki, a local official in the city of Moriyama.

After realizing that carbon dating a 2,000-year-old fruit would be the height of their pathetic existence, the researchers promptly committed group suicide by jumping into the rotating blade of an Apache Helicopter.

How the Japanese archaeologists got access to the United States Army’s principal attack helicopter is not yet known.

Crocodile escapes from Ukrainian circus

KIEV, Ukraine - An animal trainer who brought a crocodile to the beach to drum up interest in a circus got some unwelcome publicity when it broke free and made off into a crowd of beach-goers.

The 3.2-foot crocodile, named Godzi, was found by local blacksmith Mykola Ranga and promptly wedded.

“Damn! That’s the second escaped reptile that we’ve lost to marriage,” said a worker at the Azova Zoo. “The women here in the Ukraine sure are ugly.”


Troopers find ton of pot in candy load

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Two men hauling more than 40,000 pounds of Jawbreaker candies also had some not-so-sweet freight, the Minnesota State Patrol said: nearly 1 1/2 tons of marijuana.

Luis Rene Avila and Juan Carlos appeared in federal court Thursday on charges of intent to distribute marijuana.

A search using Jawbreaker-sniffing dogs turned up the load during a traffic stop Tuesday near St. Paul.

Kent Bailey, acting special agent in charge of the Minneapolis-St. Paul office of the Drug Enforcement Administration, said the marijuana would be sold to buy more candy and the candy would probably be sold to buy more drugs.

"I initially thought about how we could give the candy away to kids. But I’m real good at selling things," he said. "Especially candy and drugs.”

The bust marks the first time that the Minneapolis-St. Paul Jawbreaker K-9 Unit assisted in an arrest.

“It was good getting in some real world experience,” said Bosco, a long-haired German Shepard. “Training was tough because we kept detecting cocaine and explosives instead of Jawbreakers. I’m just glad that all our hard work finally paid off”