"This whole 'Pop Stand' business if for the BIRDS, I say!"
I shall address, in this blog entry here, the theme of Popular News.
The news of the day is not like it used to be in the Olde Days. Nooooo WAY!
Not like it was in Olden Times.
Today you have these young hotel baronesses drinking and driving and
shooting illicit movies and running around with rich money-making men and
giving you panty peeps for your more rude, pulpy magazine photos. That's the
"news" of the day! Hooooooo-WEE!
In my day, in Olden Times, things were MUCH different.
Why the news of the day might be that a beaver had finally bitten through a
log, and finally built his family a dam, and now they could swim underneath
it or stalk prey in it or look for fish, or prevent flooding, or CREATE
flooding, or whatever the hell those beavers used to build those damn dams
for!
The point is that THAT was your fancy “5 o’clock news” right there!
In my day, it might be the talk of the county that some palsied boy had
finally whittled himself a wooden whistle out of a cocoanut, so’s he could
call out to his caretakers when he was a’ frighted, or stalked by bears or
bullies! Why we’d save the little idiot child straight away then, wouldn't
we?!
What can you say for these people of TODAY on the other hand, I ask ye?!
Shame! Shame, I say!
But in my day, why it might be “headline-worthy” if some old man and some
old woman took a stroll across the town square! Especially if a dinosaur had
time-travelled forward just at that exact second and ate ‘em whole – bones
and all! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! Then dove back into his time-portal and got gone
with his old self!
Oh my gosh! Dead old people eaten by some daggone dinosaur!
Hallelujah! I’m gonna go get me some dinner!
Now THAT would be a good “Pop Stand” story!
None of this “Oooooooh, there’s a video game you just must see! Ooooooooh,
look at this moving picture show with its starlets and horseless carriages
getting into all kinds of pickles!”
None of this “Hey, did you see these presidential candidates? Each one of
'em out-goofies the next!”
Not in my day, boy. Give me “Ole’ Hickory,” Ole’ Andrew Jackson, shootin’
men on the White House lawn for failin’ to compliment his old lady’s
homemade lemonade-and-gin punch sufficiently.
THAT was news. THEM was the days.
All you young people today though?
Feh.
I’m through with you.
Hey though, would ya ...
Would you mind fetchin’ me out a bit of caribou jerky and a sasparilla soda
‘fore ye head out?
I’m ever so obliged to yuh.
Feelin’ peckish now. But more sleepy actually.
Ah yes, a nice nap will just …
About …
Fit …
The bill …
Up in heah ….
Dumb "Pop Stand" ... zzzzz ... nonsense!!!
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
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